Flesh & Blood : A Love Story
by the-adequate-pretender
Summary: An accident on Christmas Eve allows Bo to meet Lauren, a kind but mysterious paramedic who is harboring a very dangerous secret. - Dark!Lauren
1. Chapter 1

**I'm sort of pushing out of my comfort zone with this new story. This is my first time writing a first-person narrative, the romance is more of a slow burn compared to my other stories and I'm trying to be more descriptive….**

**It's going to be written in first person narrative, and I'll dictate whose P.O.V it is at the top of each section so it doesn't get confusing. **

***I own nothing**

…

**Bo's P.O.V**

When I felt the sticky warm substance drip from my, surely swollen, eyelid and run into my hairline; I knew I had to be upside down. The only thing keeping me from crashing into the ceiling of my car was my seatbelt, which by the way, I usually never bothered to wear. But thankfully, something told me that I should strap in tonight because, you know, only _**I **_would roll my camaro into a ditch on Christmas Eve.

And I know I have no one to blame but myself. I'd known for weeks that I was going to spend Christmas with Kenzi, my sister-like best friend and her new boyfriend. She had begged me repeatedly to come down a week early, but, my hard head insisted that I finish the case I'd been working on. Then of course, I'd waited too long and all flights for travel from Vancouver to Olympia had been cancelled because of the oncoming storm. I knew it would ruin Kenzi's whole Christmas if I couldn't make it down, I was the closest thing to family she had.

So of course I jumped into my car and rushed down here as fast as I could in the middle of a snow storm, and surprisingly I was doing well, that was until I got the bright idea to save time by taking a couple of back roads that were completely glazed over with black ice. It wasn't long after that that I swerved to avoid hitting a….something…a deer? No, a fox…no…

'Shit.' I sigh, I can't remember. That fact, coupled with this screeching headache I now had and this overwhelming need I had to sleep made me realize that I probably had a concussion.

My ringtone blared out, piercing through the silence and I knew it was Kenzi. She had been calling every hour on the hour since I left Vancouver. Luckily, I didn't have to reach too far to get my phone; I'd left it on the passenger's seat while I was driving so it was on the ceiling above my head. I reached up and pressed talk.

'Hey Kenz…' I greeted her.

'Bo-bo, where are you?' She asked.

'Ugh,' I groaned as I turned my neck so I could speak into the cellphone's receiver more clearly. '…I-I'm not sure Kenzi.'

'What? What do you mean you're not sure? Is everything okay?' Her voice was full of worry.

'Yeah, I just…I had an accident.' I admitted.

'You ran into something?'

'More like, I flipped the beast.' I replied, using the name Kenzi had affectionately given my beat up, but mostly reliable vehicle.

'Holy shit-balls! Are you hurt?!'

I craned my neck up to look at the small puddle of blood that had began to drip off of my face and onto the ceiling of the car, I knew I was only bleeding this bad because the blood was rushing to my head.

'It's just a couple of scratches.' I lied. 'Listen, I'm going to crawl out of here and see if I can try my luck getting a ride to a gas station or something. I'll call a tow truck and then I'll find a way to get to your place, okay?'

'Bo-,'

'Kenz, I may be a couple of hours late but, I will be there for Christmas.' I promised.

'Alright, just be careful.' She said.

'I will be. Love you Kenzi.' I replied and began to gather my personal items.

'Love you to Bo-Bo.' When I heard the dial tone, I shoved my wallet and car keys into my duffle bag and tucked my cellphone into my jeans pocket. I braced myself and unbuckled my seatbelt. Maneuvering myself until I was lying on the ceiling, I pushed open the passenger's door and climbed out of it. As soon as my hands hit the snow I wanted to crawl back inside my car, where it was at least warm. I pulled my duffle bag out of the car and shut the door. When I stood up I could hardly see anything, I could hardly hear anything either, with the wind whistling in my ears. I tugged the zipper on my leather jacket up as far as it would go and slung my bag over my shoulder.

As I stood on the side of the road, I wondered if I should call 911 or a tow truck. Which one would get here the fastest _**before**_ I turned into a Bo-sicle? I wasn't even entirely sure where I was because I couldn't remember where I turned off at before coming down this road. But, it looked like the gods were taking some pity on me as I saw headlights approaching in the distance. I really hoped this guy wasn't going to be an ass a and drive right by me, I mean, I got the whole thing about not picking up hitchhikers but it's Christmas…almost. I quickly turned on my cellphone's flashlight and waved it above my head. I wasn't about to shout for the guy to stop because he wouldn't have heard me anyway.

I was sure he started to slow down as he got closer to me. He drove past me a little and pulled over to the shoulder of the road. I made my way up to the vehicle as quickly as I could, I'm still disoriented and nearly one hundred percent sure I have a concussion. The vehicle was a truck, it wasn't very big though. I could just make out the Ford Ranger model name engraved on the back. I headed for the passenger side and yanked open the door. I climbed in a leaned back against the seat with my eyes shut. I didn't know my headache could get any worse…it did. Shutting my eyes in front of a stranger probably wasn't the smartest thing to do but, it wasn't as if I was defenceless. I had a butterfly knife, something I had procured from my ex-boyfriend Kyle, and had always kept on my person for the last six years.

'Are you alright?' A feminine voice asked. My eyes shot open and I turned to the driver.

'Uh, yeah…thank you for stopping. I was worried nobody would.' I said. She nodded politely.

'Is that your car turned upside down back there?' She asked, gesturing to the upturned camaro.

'Yeah, I had a bit of an accident.' I replied. She reached up and flicked a switch, instantly the whole cab of the truck was flooded with light. With my face now illuminated, she could properly see me, and I could see her.

She must have been at least my age. She looked to be in her mid-twenties, blonde, with eyes that were a rich brown but, also quite tired looking. But, not as if she had recently been lacking sleep but more in a way that overall exhaustion had become a way of life for her. I don't believe it hindered her looks, though. This blonde was naturally gorgeous.

She said nothing as she examined my face. I figured that any other person would be shocked to see the amount of blood that had dried on my face, or my swollen eyelid but she was different. Her face remained neutral.

'A bit of an accident, huh?' She chuckled dryly. 'I have a first aid kit in the back-,'

'Oh really? Did you want me to get it?' My hand was on the door handle and I was about to brace the cold air once more but her hand reached out and grasped my wrist tightly at first but she soon loosened her grip when I turned to her.

'That's alright, I…have a lot of clutter back there it would just be easier for me to get it. Sit tight.' She smiled gently and hopped out of the truck. I waited patiently as she rummaged around in the truck bed. I looked back through the window to see her pulling the truck bed cover back over the cargo area.

She was back in the truck in a matter of seconds. She handed me the first aid kit and buckled up. I did the same and sat the kit between us.

'I'm sorry I didn't get your name?' I asked.

'I'm Lauren, yours?'

'It's nice to meet you Lauren, I'm Bo.' I replied as she pulled off of the shoulder of the road and started to drive.

'Bo, are you experiencing any headaches or nausea?' She asked, speaking quite professionally.

'Uh, massive headache…no nausea.' I said.

'How about fatigue or double vision?'

'I'm definitely fatigued. But my vision is pretty clear; I'm only seeing one of you, Lauren.' I chuckled.

'I think you have a concussion, Bo.'

'I figured as much, my short term memory is kind of shot.' I admit. 'I'm not entirely sure where we are right now.'

'You're just outside of Tacoma. Are you from Washington?' She asked.

'No, actually I'm from Vancouver. I was on my way to Olympia to visit my best friend and her boyfriend for Christmas.'

She nodded. 'Bo, I'm going to take you to the gas station just up the road here and I'm going to clean you up a little and then after I'm going to take you to the hospital-,'

'I'm fine, though. See, just a few minor scratches, bumps and bruises.' I gestured to my face.

'Yes well, that and possible head trauma.' She argued.

'I don't want to go to the hospital.' I said.

'Well I can't, in good conscience, drop you off at a gas station with a concussion.'

'Oh come on, don't be such a boy-scout.' I said, starting to get agitated with the Good Samaritan attitude this woman had.

'Not a boy scout, I am however, an emergency medical technician for the city of Tacoma and I will not drop you off when I am not completely sure of your health status. So, you're going to the hospital. They'll run some test and you'll be out by morning, I promise.' She replied.

'But-,'

'You can catch the seven a.m transit bus to Olympia and you'll be there before eight tomorrow morning. Now just, relax.' She finished. There was no use arguing with her. This EMT was determined to get me medical attention. And, I guess it would be okay as long as I was at Kenzi's for Christmas morning.

'Fine.' I huffed. I would let her take me to the hospital, but that didn't mean I would be happy about it.

'Don't pout…it's not very becoming of you.' Under a passing streetlight, I could see that she was smirking. I rolled my eyes. Great, she was teasing me now.

…

She had just finished cleaning the dried blood from my face and hairline when she excused herself into the gas station. I was left sitting in the truck and while I was waiting, I decided that I should call Kenzi and let her know that I wouldn't be in until tomorrow morning. The phone rang twice before Kenzi picked up.

'Are you alright?!' Those were the first words out of her mouth. I smiled a bit because Kenzi and I usually have this tough exterior about us, a trait we developed when we used to do P.I work together, but if either one of us is hurt or in danger, those walls came down. For a while, all I had was Kenzi, until I started talking to my parents again.

'Yeah I'm fine Kenz. I actually got picked up by this off-duty EMT, uh…Lauren is her name, she's going to take me to the hospital tonight and I'll be there no later than eight tomorrow morning. I'm sorry I couldn't make Christmas Eve.' I apologised.

'Well, don't worry about that, as long as you're going to get here safe. And it's no big deal about Christmas Eve, as long as you're here for dinner tomorrow. Hale is even excited about you coming, he went out and bought another chair for the dining room table, and we never use the dining room table. We're pulling out all the stops for you Bobolicious.' Kenzi laughed. I felt Lauren slide into the driver's seat beside me. She pulled back onto the road. I stayed on the phone with Kenzi while Lauren maneuvered the streets expertly.

I saw a sign that said the hospital was the next exit but Lauren was not slowing down. I looked over at her and saw that she was almost in a daze; her hands were tight on the wheel.

'Uh, Kenzi. I got to go okay? I'll call you later. Love you too, bye.' I said before hanging up.

'Lauren.' I called out to her. I got no response in return, the blonde woman continued to stare straight ahead. I reached my arm out to grasp her wrist. She practically slammed on the brakes and we slid a few feet before coming to a complete stop in the middle of the road. Luckily there were very few cars present on the road right now. She shook her wrist free and gave me a look.

'You passed the exit for the hospital. It's back there.' I pointed behind me. She shut her eyes and I could hear the leather steering wheel cover groaning as she gripped and wrung it in her hands.

'Lauren, what's wrong?' I asked only because she looked to be fighting with herself over something. She let out shuddering breath and put the truck in reverse.

'Sorry, I-I haven't…I've been having trouble getting to sleep, recently.' She apologised. No, this was definitely more than just a sleep issue, I was sure of it. But I didn't know this woman personally, so I wasn't going to push her. I just nodded as she turned the truck around and headed for the exit.

…..

We pulled up to the curb of Tacoma General Hospital about ten minutes later and Lauren had remained silent the whole way. I thought she was just going to drop me off out front but to my surprise, she walked in with me and stayed until they were ready to admit me.

'So, thank you again for helping me out.' I said as we stood in the near empty emergency room. I stuck out my hand awkwardly.

'You're welcome, Bo.' She smiled politely and gave me a socially appropriate handshake.

'Merry Christmas.' I smiled.

'Merry Christmas.' She replied. One of the nurses tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to follow him. I really couldn't wait to put this night behind me and see Kenzi again.

….

'Minor concussion, bruising around the eye and a few minor abrasions to the face. Do me a favour and keep an eye on your back for me. Spinal injuries can take a while to show up after an accident. I prescribed you some pain killers for temporary relief but you should also do a follow up with your physician in Vancouver. Other than that you are free to go. You'll be able to catch the seven o' clock bus if you leave now.' The doctor explained to me. I didn't actually sleep at all last night so I was even more sluggish than I was yesterday evening. I nodded tiredly and grabbed my things from the chair beside the hospital bed.

'Thanks for everything.' I said. He nodded and turned to leave but a nurse rushed in and handed him a plush brown teddy bear that was wearing a Santa hat and holding a fabric candy cane. The nurse whispered something in the doctor's ear and quickly left. The doctor came forward and handed me the bear.

'From a friend?' He asked. I took it and read the little tag attached to its ear.

**No pouting….Merry Christmas**

**-L**

…..

**Lauren's P.O.V**

I didn't sleep, but I knew I wouldn't. Not when I had denied my urges for another night. Bo would have been the perfect kill. She was disoriented, she was from out of town…she was practically presented to me on a silver platter and I didn't do a damn thing.

Was it a mistake that I let her live? I refused to satisfy my bloodlust for some woman I barely knew. What made her so goddamn different from the others? My other projects _**beg**_ for their lives and I feel nothing, but she-she puts her hand on my wrist and suddenly I'm just letting her go? I don't have an explanation so I guess I'll just chalk it up to me having some Christmas spirit, because I can't afford to spend all day thinking about it.

I tossed my bed sheet off of myself and swung my legs over the side of the bed. When my feet touched the ice old floor and I was suddenly filled with excitement about what was going to take place later that morning. I could barely keep a smile off of my face as I readied myself for the day.

I was showered and dressed in twenty minutes, like I was every morning, and had just finished pouring myself a cup of coffee when I heard it.

Her screaming.

My mouth twitched and my fingers shook in anticipation. But I wouldn't get ahead of myself, a routine was a routine and I wasn't through with mine. I carried my coffee and plate of toast into the living room. I ate it slowly, I wasn't really in a rush. Nobody was coming to visit me on Christmas, and it's not as if I cared anyway. Anybody who I would want to be with at Christmas was out of reach. My father was locked away with "the crazies" in an institution in Missouri, my brother Ryan was god knows where and my mother had a permanent residence six feet under at the Summerton Graveyard exactly fourteen miles away from my father.

Her screams were getting louder so I practically guzzled the rest of my coffee and just left the rest of the toast on the plate. I brushed the crumbs off of my clothing and headed for the basement.

The feeling I get as I head down the steps into the basement can only be described as when a junkie finally gets enough money and is on their way to get their next fix. Her screams were so potent it surely would have driven any sane person mad, and I don't want to hint that I'm not sane but sane people don't need to murder others to feel normal. She pleaded for me to let her go as I walked past her. I could ignore her screams because I was in that junkie mindset. My prep was not unlike the cooking up process for heroin addicts. I slipped on my scrubs, tied my hair back and pulled the latex gloves onto my hands. I grabbed Roger Lewis' hunting knives from the top shelf and made my way over to her, chained to a pole next to the drain. I kneeled down and take the jagged weapon out of its case. When I plunged the steel just below her bellybutton, it was like the imaginary needle going into my skin and filling my veins with the false hope that this is it, that I can stop after this last hit…well, last kill. The high would come when I cut her intricately, shallow and deep cuts everywhere, but never the face. It was something I found distasteful

It would be forty minutes of release and when her blood collected in the drain on the floor, that's when the imaginary needle would come out and I would come down from the best high I'd ever known. Then it's just me, I just stood there in front of the mutilated body of Hannah James, the twenty eight year old prostitute from Union street who decided to work late on Christmas Eve. Her mistake.

Now I could go so sleep before I had to work this afternoon. And it would be a very restful sleep, it always was. I dropped the knife on the ground and stripped the scrubs from my body and tossed them into the furnace, along with the gloves. I would come back to clean up later, it's not as if I have to hide any evidence, I live in the middle of the woods, no one saw her come hear or heard her screams. I ascended the stairs overwhelmed by the feeling of nirvana that surrounded me.

'Merry Christmas to me.' I whispered, slamming the door shut.

….

**Do you like it? No, Yes….**

**It's more of a dark fic as opposed to angst, so maybe that's better?**

**Let me know if you like it, because this could honestly just end here, even if I would like to continue it further. **

**Thanks for reading, any and all mistakes are mine!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Definitely going to continue with this story thanks to the great response from the first chapter. I'm really glad that a lot of you found Lauren to be "creepy" and are curious to know what lead her down this road and if she can stop, that tells me that I achieved what I wanted to in the first chapter. **

***Flashbacks will be written in third person.**

***I own nothing.**

***Enjoy**

…**.**

**Flashback- **_**Ozark, Missouri 1997**_

…**.**

'_This trip is a waste of time. There's nothing wrong with our daughter, Roger.' Alice Lewis defended as she watched her husband load the family station wagon with some light luggage. They were on their way to see some top rate child psychologist in the big city._

_Roger shook his head as he loaded the last little piece of cargo, a Star Trek collectable backpack belonging to their daughter Lauren. 'You don't get it. I don't __**want**__ for there to be anything wrong with my little girl, but there is no denying there is. I just want some answers before she hurts us or herself.' He finished before slamming the trunk shut. He had taken two days off of work without pay so they could take Lauren to see this doctor, she wasn't cheap or easy to make an appointment with either this…Dr. Everett …would cost him an arm and a leg and they had to book eleven weeks in advance. _

_Alice glared at him with disappointment. 'If there is something wrong, then you will not treat her any differently than Ryan, do you understand me?' _

'_I wouldn't do that-,'_

'_Roger, just… I honestly don't want to hear it right now. Go get the kids, please.' Alice said before disappearing in the car. _

…

'_**Breaking News, another body was found last night matching the modus operandi of the infamous Christian County Mutilator. The victim was nineteen year old Alan King Jr., a resident of Billings. He was found dismembered in a bathtub of his apartment and as with the signature of the Mutilator, his face was butchered beyond recognition. His death marks the eighteenth kill for the Mutilator, he has hit every city in the Christian County area, except for Saddlebrooke, Spokane and Ozark. Citizens in these areas are urged by local policed to stay vigilant and take safety precautions when out after dark…'**__ The news reporter rattled off some more information about the killer while Ryan and Lauren sat glued to the television in their basement. _

'_Why do people do that, Ryan?' Lauren asked as she turned to her older brother. The thirteen year old boy was a sharp contrast to his sister. He and their father both had warm chestnut hair and cool blue eyes, same face shape and quirks such as the gnawing of the inside of their cheeks when confused or in deep thought. Lauren only shared her mother's flaxen locks and slightly cleft chin, they say she looked more like Alice's mother when she was a child. _

'_Do what, Lauren…kill people?' _

'_Yeah, why do people do that?' _

_She turned to the boy who had shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. His sister had a way of seeing right through him, which he found weird because he was supposed to be the older sibling, able to see right through any clever ruse or lie his younger sibling could cook up, but Ryan never had that ability wit Lauren. It was always the other way around, and he felt as though they would all figure out why when they took Lauren for her evaluation this weekend. _

'_I don't know, I guess some people are just sick.' He shrugged; it was the best answer he could come up with. Lauren shoulders sank and she turned away from him to stare at the television screen. _

'_Sick, like…like how you called me sick last month?' She questioned a hint of sadness in her voice. Ryan immediately felt guilty. _

'_Lauren, I didn't…I'm sorry I said that. You're not sick like the Mutilator, he hurts people, and you don't do that. You, just hurt frogs and squirrels and stuff like that right?' In his mind that was still pretty alarming, he thought girls were supposed to love and take care of fluffy animals and detest slimy, stinky animals like amphibians. But he knew Lauren was different, he found her climbing trees and splashing around in the swamp looking for animals to dissect in her tree house. _

'_Yeah but you still think there is something wrong with me. You still think I'm __**sick**_.' _She said with more anger than a ten year old should have. Ryan reached out to soothe her but she pushed further down the couch. She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Ryan knew there was no use lying to her, Lauren always seemed to be a step ahead of him, despite being three years his junior. _

'_Even if you are sick, this doctor we're going to is will make you well. I promise. You'll be okay.' He assured. __**That**__ he did believe, once Lauren met with the doctor, she would be fixed._

_Lauren shrugged. 'Alright.'_

_Roger came down the stairs into the basement to retrieve his children. 'Lauren, Ryan….it's time to go. I want to be on the highway in fifteen minutes.' He said before turning around and heading back up the stairs. The two children shut off the television and headed for the steps. _

'_Lauren, could you ever kill somebody?' The boy asked. Lauren looked at him for a minute and shook her head. _

'_No. Never.' She replied. _

…_._

**Lauren's P.O.V**

I'm perfectly rested after four and a half hours of sleep, even though it's been nearly three days since I've had the pleasure of enjoying REM sleep. But I couldn't wait to go to work. I needed something to distract me from what I did. The twenty four hours following my kill would fill me with indescribable guilt. Guilt over the fact that I couldn't control myself again and someone else had to lose their life because I was too much of a coward to turn myself in and await my injection on death row. Guilt over the fact that I had proven my mother wrong once again, she always thought I was good, even when she knew something was wrong with me, and with every cut or puncture of someone's skin at the hands of me; it's like I'm spitting on her grave.

I didn't used to feel this way. I used to be able to justify my murderous acts with the idea that it was fair. After what was done to me…my family…my _**mother**_- it was only fair that **he** and the people he cared about should feel my pain too. The guilt only came after I started to realize that I liked what I was doing, that I needed to continue what I was doing in order to function properly; when I realized that I hurt people for my own selfish reasons.

It's why I became a paramedic. In my own little way I feel as though I'm balancing my good and bad karma. Yes, legally I'm a serial killer but, you know I also save peoples lives on a regular basis. I'm practically a saint, because most serial killers are antisocial shut-ins who can't hold down employment but, not only do _**I**_ have a pension plan, I also bring people back to life a couple of times a week.

'Merry Christmas, bitch!' Tamsin shouted from outside of my car. I'd been sitting in the parking lot of our place of employment, Tacoma Fire Department & Emergency Services, for probably thirty minutes before she had noticed me. She yanked my door open and stood to the side, waiting for me to get out like some kind of chauffer or something.

'Merry Christmas, Tamsin.' I chuckled. Until I arrived in Washington, I didn't have friends, that was mostly my fault, I hardly knew how to act normal enough in school to attract any friends. Tamsin and I had done paramedic training together in college and we've been friends ever since. I don't know what she sees in me, I'm not really that interesting. With her came Dyson and Crystal, siblings and fire fighters who worked with us and who I also considered amusing company.

'Well I'll be damned, is that sleep in your eye?' She asked and flicked the tip of my nose teasingly.

'Huh? Oh, yeah…I guess it is.' I replied, rubbing it out of my eye.

'Did Lauren Lewis actually lie down and participate in the ritual of sleep like the rest of us mere mortals?' She continued to joke as we headed into the building.

'I guess it's just a Christmas miracle, isn't it?' I said as we head to the lockers.

'More like a blessing, you looked like shit this past week.' Even though I was turned away from her, I could hear the smirk in her voice.

'Gosh Skarsten, you have a way of making me feel like the most special girl in the room.' I rolled my eyes lightly.

'It's what I'm here or Lewis. But seriously, I'm just pointing out a fact. Like that happens once a month, what are you _**doing**_ to wear yourself out so much?' She asked.

'Your mother…' I replied seriously.

'Fuck yourself.' She replied without missing a beat.

'Well thanks to Helen Skarsten I don't have to-,' I was cut off when she slugged my arm, hard; I swear Tamsin does not know her own strength.

'Keep making jokes about fucking my mom and I'm going to start to think you're not joking, asshole.' She warned, but I know she's not even the slightest bit serious. 'But speaking of dates…'

'A topic I didn't know we were on.' I cut in.

'When are we going to do this double date thing?' She asked. I groaned and popped my knuckles out of habit.

'You do realize that you can go on _**single**_ dates, right? Two couples are not required to go an overpriced steakhouse together and have meaningless conversation for two hours for it to be considered a date.' I remind her.

'But it would be more fun to do those things with another couple, and it's not like we have to go to an Outback steakhouse, Dyson just really likes that restaurant. We could go to that Italian place…I know your little tummy is fond of pasta.' She laughed.

'Umm…no, you also love that steakhouse and the fact that I love carbs is not going to make me go out and find someone to date so we can all go get heartburn at Bella Nina's Ristorante…' I replied.

'You fucking sourpuss!' She grunted. I was about to open my mouth to release another remark when Crystal came through the locker room door.

'There you two are, let's get a move on…we're going to have a meeting this morning.' The two of us nodded and stood up from the benches. 'Lauren, did'ya get any sleep?'

'Mmm. Almost five hours.' I declared. She patted me on the back.

'Well, if burning the candle at both ends makes your happy then you do it, Lauren.' She chuckled and we followed her out.

…

**Bo's P.O.V**

I was sitting in the guest room of Kenzi and Hale's apartment after dinner just marvelling at how much the girl had changed since she left Vancouver a year ago. The girl I used to work with used to only care about booze, food and shoes and now…well, she still cared about that but it looked like she was able to compartmentalize things. Initially I was irate when she told me she wanted to not only move out of our humble crack shack but that she also wanted to move out of the country. I thought she was just being ridiculous, how could some nineteen year old kid just pack up and leave the only home she had known for so many years? But then she sat down and we talked about it. She told me about her uncle Dmitri who had moved from Russia a few months back and had started a new business and offered her some work in sales if she were willing to move from Vancouver to Olympia.

At first I was kind of insulted. I thought Kenzi was tired of me. But then I had realized that she would always be my best friend and that she just wanted a life of her own. Malikov's Distillery really took off, funded mostly by their vodka sales, and Kenzi had met this nice guy named Hale who co-owned a local night club and now they had an apartment together and were apparently talking about marriage if the conversation at dinner was anything to go by. It's just a huge shock to me that a little over a year ago, I couldn't get that girl out of bed before one in the afternoon but now she's up before I am.

'Hey there Bobo, I hope your finding the room to your liking…if not, suck it up sister because it's the only guest room we've got.' She joked as she entered the bedroom, dressed in her pyjamas and ready to head to bed.

'It's great Kenz.' I smiled. 'I'm really proud of you. You've got a beautiful place, a steady job…Hale's a great guy…you've really grown up.'

'Yikes, I know it's Christmas but don't get too mushy on me Bo. If I didn't have to work tomorrow I'd be sucking back on a bottle of our newest product but since New Year's is coming up I've got to be on top of sales for all the sweaty drunken debauchery that will soon take place all over the West coast.' She sighed. 'But, I can stay up for I little while since Hale's gone to handle some business at the club.' She smiled and threw herself down on my bed.

'So, you're really okay after the accident?' She asked, poking at the bandage on my forehead.

'Uh huh, thanks to my Christmas guardian angel.' I chuckled and pointed to the stuffed Christmas bear sitting on my luggage. 'I don't know how long I would have been in that snow storm if it weren't for her coming along.'

'Oh right, that paramedic chick in Tacoma, right?' She asked and walked over to the luggage and plucked the teddy bear off of it before returning to her place on the bed. 'She bought this for you?'

'Yeah, she waited with me until they could admit me too. She must have bought me the bear before she left.'

'Ahh, so she was flirting with you…' She nodded, looking to be satisfied with her conclusion.

'Um no…she just told me that her conscience wouldn't allow her to just drop me off and drive away. She was being nice, plus she's an EMT its definitely just something she's used to.' I laughed.

'And buying plush bears is something she's used to right?'

'Kenzi, it was Christmas Eve and she was helping me out. Nothing more.' I replied. She held up her hands in defence.

'Hey, that's fine. But maybe you should have offered her something given her a Christmas present too.' She suggested.

'What?'

'Well she did pick up a hitchhiker on the side of the road, drove said hitchhiker to the hospital and waited with the hitchhiker until she was taken care of…and then bought a little get well present for her. I would have at least expected you to show me your tits-,'

'Kenzi!' I tossed a pillow at her. 'Well clearly she's far classier than you are, isn't she?' I giggled. She rolled off of my bed and headed for the door.

'I don't doubt that, goodnight Bobo.' She smiled.

'Goodnight, Kenz.' I say to her retreating form. I laid back on the bed and thought about the blonde that rescued me last night. I did want to repay her in someway, not show her my boobs like my best friend so blatantly suggested, but more like a thank you dinner.

But how in the hell was I supposed to find her? I don't have her phone number…I don't even have her last name. Wait, I did know where she worked, kind of. I know she's a paramedic But there had to be at least two or three emergency service departments around Tacoma. What was I supposed to do, call them all asking for a blonde named Lauren? I sighed…yes, that's probably hat I'm going to have to do. I looked at the clock to see that it only read a little after eight. I don't know why I was so eager to start calling now, but I figure the sooner I call, the sooner I would know if she would accept my invitation.

….

After doing a quick search on Google I found the numbers to all the emergency services departments in Tacoma. Luckily there were only three that had EMT's. The first two I had no luck but I was sure that even if Lauren wasn't on duty, they could at least tell her I called. I dialled the number and the phone picked up on the third ring.

'Tacoma Fire Station 14- Fire Prevention and Emergency services, Chief O'Donnell speaking…' The man answered.

'Hi there, uh my name is Bo Dennis and I was wondering if you had a…Lauren working there?' I asked hesitantly.

'Lauren with and "E" or Lauryn with a "Y", ma'am?' He asked politely.

'Uh, I'm not sure.' I admitted.

'Oh, okay...well before we go any further can you tell me the nature or this call?' He asked.

'I was involved in an accident yesterday and she helped me even though she was off duty and there was a bit of a storm. I just want to properly thank her, maybe take her to dinner as a Christmas gift?' I said.

'That's very nice of you ma'am. Anyway, Lauren with a "y" has short, blackish hair and she is one of our firefighters. Lauren with a "e" has long blonde hair and is a member of our paramedic unit. Either of those sound familiar?' He finished. I instantly remembered her golden locks and rich brown eyes.

'Yes, actually. Lauren with an "e". Is she available? If not I could leave a message.' I said.

'That won't be necessary, that team just got in a few minutes ago. I'll get her for you.' He offered.

'Thank you.' I said.

'Thornwood! Lewis is wanted on the phone.' He yelled. Even though the receiver must have been away from his face, he still sounded clear as day to me, so I had to grimace at the volume of his voice. I heard another receiver being picked up.

'Lewis, you on?' He asked.

'Yes sir.' I heard her voice say.

'Alright.' He hung up and then it was just me and Lauren…Lauren Lewis.

'Hello?' She asked curiously, maybe she didn't get many phone calls at work. I'm a little embarrassed now. I hope she doesn't think I'm weird for calling right now.

'Hey Lauren, it's me…Bo Dennis.' I announced.

…..

**Lauren's P.O.V**

To say I was shocked to hear her voice on the other end of the line is an understatement. I never expected to hear from her again. I wasn't even sure I wanted to. I was willing to brush of my decision not to kill her, I was willing to forget all about last night and move forward with my life. But here she was, talking to me on the phone.

'Uh…what? I'm sorry…who…'

'You rescued me last night. Remember my camaro flipped on the back road? You practically saved my life.' She said, trying to reassure me that it's her. Believe me; I know damn well it's the perplexing brunette from the previous evening.

'Oh right. I'm sorry, how have you been?' I asked because it's polite, I really wanted to hang up immediately but that would be strange and I try not to draw too much attention to myself these days.

'I'm fine, great actually, and it's all thanks to you.' I can hear her smile through the phone.

'Well, that's good. I was just doing my job.' I explained. I'm hoping she's just calling to say thank you and then she can go get shit-faced on holiday wine to forget all about me.

'That's the thing; you weren't just doing your job. You were off duty and could have driven right by me. But you didn't you stopped, took me to the hospital and even bought me that bear. Thank you for that by the way it's a nice reminder that there are good people in the world.' She praised. Well I don't know about that, if I'm anything to go by then a lot of us are wearing masks.

'You're welcome.' I said. I heard another receiver pick up.

'So I was just wondering if you would let me by you dinner, my treat, as a thank you for what you did but didn't have to do-,'

'Oh hell yes, she will.' I heard Dyson's voice interject.

'Dyson-,' I tried to stop him from saying anything further but then I heard the speaker beep. Shit.

'Who is this?' I heard Tamsin ask.

'Bo Dennis?' Bo chuckled.

'Did you just offer to take Lauren out for some fine cuisine?' Tamsin asked.

'Yeah…' Bo was still laughing; I was not finding this funny at all.

'Guys, please-,'

'She accepts. Now why don't you go ahead and give us a date and time?' Crystal cut in.

'Oh, okay…when is your next day off, Lauren?' She asked me. I ground me teeth in annoyance, not at Bo, but at those three meddling fuckers that were probably pissing themselves in excitement in the common area.

'New Years day.' I managed to get out.

'Awesome. I could get a rental and come pick you up-,'

'Not necessary, thanks, don't waste your money. I'll come to Olympia. I haven't been there in a while.' I replied.

'Great, so New Years Day at eight-ish?' She suggested.

'You got it. My phone number is 555-0134, just text me the address before I head down there. Thanks for calling, Bo.' I finished.

'Have a good night.' She said before hanging up. I heard my co-workers laughing on the other end of the line.

'This conversation was recorded, Lauren. You are most definitely going out, sourpuss.' Tamsin taunted. I found it very hard not to growl when I slammed the phone down on the receiver.

…..

I returned home at one in the morning, I cleaned out my mess in the basement, applied bleach to floor, disposed of her clothes and slid her body into the deep freezer in the shed. It's not insulated, the whole place might as well be a freezer, and she would stay there for about a week until I could get the time to dispose of her properly. Once I was satisfied that my basement looks presentable again, I cleaned my blades and put them back into their case. I climbed those stairs once again and slammed the door shut. I went into the living room and opened the curtains to the large window to stair out at the snow that was gently blanketing the earth. I stared at the Christmas tree that was only decorated in the front and shoved into the corner of the room. The only reason it was up was because it would be what my mother wanted, and I try to maintain some degree of normalcy in my life. There are no gifts underneath it, there never was. My Christmas dinner consisted of a cheeseburger and fries from Jack in the Box and I lived too far for carolers to come and sing off pitch holiday themed songs in my face until I have to politely shut the door in their faces.

Eventually I grew tired of sitting by myself in the dark with nothing but cheap Christmas light to illuminate my living room, I was getting to that point of the day when that little voice in the back of my head starts telling me that if I were a normal person, things could have been different. I made the trek to my room and lay on my bed, not bothering to cover myself with sheets. I was looking forward to lying here for another six hours and pretending that this doesn't bother me.

…

**Little update while you all wait for the new update of Encounters. I think I did alright with this chapter but you can be the judge of that. Thanks for reading.**

***Any and all mistakes are mine.**

***Let me know what you think a leaving a review?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Loving how much you all enjoy this story, thanks again. **

**Not every chapter is going to start with a flashback, but I'm using them in the first few chapters because you all want to see what led Lauren to this point in her life, and I'd rather you "see" it for yourselves rather than have Lauren explain everything to you. **

***I own nothing. **

…

**Flashback- **_**St. Louis, Missouri 1997**_

…

_The first thing Lauren noticed about Dr. Everett's waiting area; was its cleanliness. The place was reeking with disinfectants so strong, it was practically burning Lauren's nose. Lauren thought the area itself was a little too plain for Dr. Everett to be a doctor to children. The entire room was an egg shell white, contrasted only by the black leather furniture. The single coffee table in the middle of the room only held two types of magazines, Popular Mechanics and Parade. _

_Lauren and her family were the only ones who were in the room, Dr. Everett never double booked and spaced out her appointments accordingly. Down the hall, Lauren could occasionally hear the receptionist typing away on her computer but the room was so silent that whenever the woman would take a break, Lauren's ears filled with the sound of her blood pumping through her body. _

_They had been sitting there for nearly an hour, the receptionist had told them that Dr. Everett would be with them shortly and that she was just in her office finishing some paper work. They wouldn't have believed her if it wasn't for the woman going in and out of the office every fifteen minutes with a pitcher of ice water that became more and more empty with every trip. Lauren wanted to ask why she didn't just leave the pitcher in the room with Dr. Everett, but didn't think it was important enough to disrupt the woman's routine. _

_They were nearing the hour and a half mark and her father had already burned through his pack of Lucky Strike cigarettes, his nerves were terrible and he was anxious to see what the doctor would say about Lauren. He sat to the right of Lauren, smelling heavily of tobacco smoke, her mother sat the left of her popping the same piece of spearmint gum she had since walking in through the door, and that was only because she had given up smoking a long time ago. Across from Lauren, lying with his feet up on the couch was Ryan, who was passed out, with an issue of Popular Mechanics featuring a robot arm draped across his chest. _

_It was almost two hours before they heard a heavy door creek open and a middle aged, bespectacled woman with pepper hair stepped out of the room. Lauren's father had jumped up and nudged Ryan awake before he shook the woman's hand. _

'_Hello there, I'm Roger Lewis, Lauren's father. You must be Dr. Everett?' Roger greeted. Dr. Everett nodded politely before her nostrils flared. _

'_Are you a smoker, Mr. Lewis?' She asked. Her father looked dumbfounded for a moment before answering. _

'_Oh, yes?'_

'_Well, I'll ask you not to smoke while you're here if you could, the smell makes me a bit ill.' Dr. Everett replied. _

'_Sure, my apologies.' He nodded. _

'_Thank you. Now, where is Lauren- oh, there you are.' Dr. Everett smiled as she peaked around Roger. She moved toward Lauren and extended her hand. 'I'm Dr. Cassandra Everett, how are you today?' _

_Lauren shook the woman's hand after some gentle nudging by her mother. 'I'm fine, I guess. A little bored…' _

_She nodded and turned to Lauren's mother. 'I'm going to take Lauren in now if you don't mind, we're going to get started right away.' _

'_Of course but, I can't come in with her?' Alice asked worriedly._

'_No, I'm sorry. I can get the most out of a child when their parents are not present; it's how I get their most honest answer. If what your husband told me over the phone about Lauren is credible, than I need her to be as truthful as she can with me, without her worrying about getting in trouble.' Dr. Everett explained. 'Now this first test is going to run a couple hours long. You can wait out here if you like, or you can go explore St. Louis a little bit. It's your call.' _

'_Mom, please don't make us wait here another couple of hours.' Ryan groaned, his attention span was wearing thin. Alice chewed her bottom lip and turned to Lauren._

'_Will you be okay if we leave for a little bit, honey?' _

_Lauren shrugged. 'Yeah, I'll be fine.' _

_Alice nodded hesitantly before grabbing her purse and standing up. 'Come on then, Ryan.' _

'_I left my cell number and my pager number with the receptionist. Call us if Lauren needs us, okay?' Roger said from behind Dr. Everett._

'_Of course. Follow me, Lauren.' Dr. Everett ordered as she headed for her office. Alice, and Ryan both gave Lauren a hug and then Roger leaned down to press a kiss to his daughter's forehead. _

'_Everything is going to be okay sweetheart. I promise. We'll be back before you know it.' Roger assured her. _

…_.._

'_So Lauren, your father tells me that you like to harm small animals, is that true?' Dr. Everett asked, leaning against her desk, she never liked to beat around the bush with her patients, getting right to the nitty gritty of things was more her style.. She had asked Lauren to sit in the big leather chair across from her that practically swallowed up the tiny girl. Lauren sat cross-legged in the chair, with her head propped against her arm, looking uninterested. _

'_Sometimes.' Lauren replied. _

'_What do you do with these animals, do you hit them…do you cut them?' Dr. Everett had pulled out a notepad and began scribbling things down in it. _

'_I cut them.' _

'_With what?'_

'_My daddy's hunting knives.' She replied simply._

'_His hunting knives? Does your daddy hunt often?' _

'_No.' Lauren shook her head. 'He doesn't use them. He just let's them sit in the garage.' _

'_Lauren, why do you hurt these animals?' Dr. Everett asked after scribbling a particularly long sentence in her notepad. The little girl didn't give a response which prompted the good doctor to look up from her notes._

'_Lauren?' Dr. Everett tried again._

'_What?'_

'_I asked you a question.' She replied, adjusting the glasses on her face._

'_I don't want to answer it.' _

'_Well I need you to answer it. I'm trying to make you well again. Don't you want to be well?' Cassandra Everett smiled. She watched as the little Lauren shifted uncomfortably in the chair. _

'_Who says I was well to begin with?' Lauren mumbled. It was just loud enough that Cassandra caught what she had said._

'_What do you mean?' The older woman frowned. _

'_I think about things I'm not supposed to be thinking about. Sometimes I want to hurt more than just frogs or squirrels…' Lauren admitted._

'_Like what?'_

'_Like those stupid kids at school that are always making fun of me. This girl named Jessica at my school pushed me off of the jungle gym because I wouldn't tell her who I had a crush on. I don't have a crush on anybody! I wanted to hurt her and I almost did, the next day I brought one of daddy's knives to school and I almost used it on her.' The little blonde explained. _

'_But you didn't, and that's good Lauren because you maintained self control. You understand that there is a difference between hurting animals and hurting real live people don't you?_

_Lauren nodded solemnly. _

'_If you hurt real people, it could have some serious consequences. Not that hurting animals is good either. Do you think you could stop hurting animals if you tried?' She asked._

'_I don't want to try.' Lauren said quickly. 'It makes me feel better and I don't want to go back to the way I was feeling before.'_

'_How were you feeling before? _

'_I wasn't feeling anything before. And now that I do the stuff I do, I think I'm starting to feel like everybody else does.' Lauren finished. _

…_._

_The first day was all talk; Dr. Everett had asked Lauren hundreds of questions, some Lauren answered, others she didn't. She didn't entirely trust this woman, which sort of frustrated Dr. Everett. The doctor didn't seem like she was on Lauren's side at all. The next day, Dr. Everett had Lauren view a series of violent images while hooked up to a heart monitor, Lauren didn't think much of it, but the doctor kept eying her suspiciously out of the corner of her eye. When Lauren's parents had come to pick her up from the final session, Dr. Everett had escorted Lauren out of the room to speak with Alice and Roger privately. Lauren had waited until the adults had disappeared into the room before she moved to listen by the door, which DR. Everett had left cracked._

'_I believe that Lauren is suffering from the early stages of conduct disorder. She has admitted to me that her violence against animals stems from her need to feel.' The doctor explained._

'_Feel what?' Her father asked. _

'_I'm not entirely sure, but perhaps this is a cry for attention. Lauren isn't that popular at school, she says that she has no friends…perhaps some more time spent one on one with her at home could satisfy her need.' _

'_Of course.' Her mother replied. _

'_Now, I also ran a small test on her earlier where I monitored her heart beat when she was presented with violent images. When shown images that should have made her heart race, her pulse remained the same as if she was having a nap.' Dr. Everett paused for a moment to let her words sink in before speaking again. My verdict is that Lauren spends too much time thinking about violent acts and therefore she is desensitized to them. To keep her mind focused on more productive tasks, I'm speaking with my good friend, Dr. Kindly a child psychiatrist, about getting Lauren a Ritalin prescription.' _

'_Do you think that's best?' Her mother asked. _

'_You'll need to trust my expertise if you want to help your daughter Mrs. Lewis.' The doctor replied. _

'_Roger, are you aware that your daughter has access to your hunting knives in the garage?' _

'_Well I- no…I didn't even remember they were in there.' Roger admitted. _

'_You need to remove them and hide them somewhere else. Her violence against animals needs to be nipped in the bud. You can't allow her to behave this way. Did you know some of our nations most violent criminals started out abusing their neighbourhood pets?'_

'_Lauren will never be a criminal.' Her mother defended.. _

'_Right, as long as you plan on following my directions, she will be perfectly fine.'_

…

**Bo's P.O.V**

'You know, in a way, your accident might have actually been a blessing in disguise.' Kenzi offered as I made my way into her kitchen. Kenzi cooked now, which is bazaar because the girl frequently burned boxed mac'n cheese when we lived together. She served me two perfectly cooked eggs on a plate before serving herself and taking a seat across from me.

'And why would that be?' I asked.

'Well for one,' she began, squeezing an abnormal amount of ketchup on her plate. '…you now _**have**_ to get a new car-,'

'I thought you loved the beast?' I asked, I was just a tiny bit insulted.

'I did love the beast, but you know, now that I've been spoiled by riding around in a car that has heat and airbags the beast isn't looking so good. And I do worry about your safety now more than before.' She replied.

'And the other reason is that you got to meet a nice chick with a steady job and who is probably single-,'

'You don't know if she's single or not.' I added.

'Well **I **know that **I** don't just accept dinner from some good looking stranger if I have someone waiting for me at home. You don't think her girlfriend or boyfriend would object if they found out about your dinner?'

I shrugged. 'It's not as if I care that she's single anyway…why would I care?'

'When's the last time you got laid?' Kenzi asked me. It was a question that nearly had me choking on my breakfast.

'What?'

'When's the last time you danced the horizontal tango?' She asked again.

'I don't know, Kenz. A couple of months I think. I've just been busy. A lot of cases have been popping up lately and I've been taking pretty much all of them.' I wouldn't tell her that it's because I missed her and constantly working took my mind off of her absence.

'Damn, what happened to the west coast wondersnatch?'

'Some things are more important than sex.' I replied. She stared at me in shock.

'Are you feeling, okay?'

'Yes, now let's get off the topic of my vagina, please?'

She raised her hands in defence before taking my plate and putting both of our dishes in the sink. Hale came through the front door a moment later with three cups of coffee. He handed Kenzi one and then took one for himself before handing one to me.

'Thank you Hale.' I said.

'No problem, Bo. Oh hey, they brought your car at the auto shop downtown, damage looks pretty bad, but they said they'll give you five hundred if they can press it and use your car for scrap metal. Plus they'll give you money for any spare parts they find.' He explained and tossed me the keys to my car.

'Five hundred, huh? Well that's enough to get me a used car with at least one airbag I guess.' I sighed.

'Bo, Kenzi and I are gonna help you out with that, we're going to toss down twelve hundred along with the five hundred so you can get a working vehicle, so don't worry about it.' He replied.

'Seriously? You guys don't have to do that.' Although, secretly I'm glad. I don't think I wanted to ask my parents for help getting a new car; I really didn't wan to owe them anything.

'It's all good BoBo, the Christmas bonus was good this year.' She chuckled.

'If you say so. So Hale, where's the best place to wine and dine someone who has saved your life?' I asked him.

'Romantic or non romantic?' He asked.

'Non-,'

'Romantic.' Kenzi cut me off.

'_**Non**_ romantic. I'm taking this woman to dinner as a thank you and that's all.' I explained.

'Olive Garden?' He shrugged. I laughed.

'Olive Garden, really? You're sure about that?'

'What? You need some place that's got some good food and will not break the bank. They got some decent shit down at the Olive Garden.' He defended. Kenzi and I shared a laugh.

'Alright, I'll think about it.'

…..

**Lauren P.O.V**

I was in absolute disbelief when I felt it again. _**That**_ feeling, _**that**_ urge…it was back; back too soon. I felt it tickling the back of my mind when I was tending to this elderly woman, Mrs. Ginsberg; she had collapsed in her home a few hours prior while trying to get up the stairs. It wasn't anything too serious, these kinds of cases happened every week. I was applying ice to her swollen knee when it hit me like a freight train.

'Something wrong, dear?' She asked me in a voice that made it seem as if she was talking to her own grandchild. That might have warmed the heart of anybody else but I cared very little for grandparents because I had a terrible relationship with mine. I looked up at her and tried to maintain a neutral face, I couldn't let her or anybody else notice that I was losing my mind.

'Nothing's wrong, I just- I have a lot on my mind.' I lied. She bought it; people often do believe my lies. She nodded and leaned back on the gurney. 'So, nothing seems to be broken, but we are going to take you to the emergency room and make sure that nothing else happened when you fell, alright?'

'Thank you so much my dear.' She beamed. 'You've been such a help.'

'You're welcome ma'am.' Really, it's just my job but if people want to paint me as a hero then who am I to stop them?

…..

The ride to the hospital is a quiet one, Tamsin is dealing with Ms. Ginsberg and I'm sitting in the corner willing myself not to jump out of the back of this vehicle. I was just so confused as to how my urge had returned so quickly. It had only been a week…a FUCKING week since I killed the prostitute Hannah James. I had just started sleeping six hours again and now what?! I would return to my life as an insomniac until I could dispose of Hannah and find a new kill, all in the span of my two days off?!

'Lauren, are you alright?' Tamsin asked me. I noticed that she was looking at my hands so I looked down and saw that I was gripping my seat so hard my knuckles were white and veins were protruding from my forearms. I loosened my grip on the seat but I didn't dare let go, I had to keep my hands occupied.

'Fine. Just nerves.' I replied.

'Nerves about your date with Bo?' She teased. Who knew if that was even going to happen?

'Sure.' I replied. I just needed her to be quiet. I needed quiet just for a little bit.

'Well, you're going to have to call me and tell me how that goes. This is a big moment for a hermit like you.' She laughed and Mrs. Ginsberg laughed and even Alex the goddamn driver laughed. They all laughed because they had not a fucking clue of how serious this was.

…

As crazy as it seems, I have rules about my killing.

No children, No elderly

No damage to the face

One kill max per month

I have never, **ever** broken these rules. They're in place to keep my conscience as clean as a killer's can be. But when I arrived home that evening and stood in the ice cold spray of the shower, something I was used to because I didn't bother with hot water or heat, it became more and more clear that I would not last another twenty five days without murdering someone else.

It was gnawing at me and I couldn't take my mind off of it. The water was so cold it hurt but I couldn't think of anything else. The urge had never come on so strong or so fast before. If it was this bad now, how long would it take for the real sickness to kick in? The sleepless nights, the loss of appetite, the _**emptiness**_…that feeling that would eat away at me until I finally cracked and took someone's life.

I could hear my cellphone going off in the bedroom and no doubt it's Bo. I was supposed to meet with her in an hour and I still haven't decided if I was or not. I turn the shower off and hop out. I was clean nearly half an hour ago but I had stayed in the water until my fingers were significantly pruned.

The phone was on it's final ring by the time I picked it up, she was just about to be answered by my voice-mail until I hit talk. 'Hello?'

'Hey Lauren, it's me…Bo Dennis.' She greeted. 'I was just calling to make sure you were still up for dinner tonight. Do you still want to go with me?'

"_No, I really don't want to go. I actually want to lock myself in my room all night and hope I'm just having a bad dream. Don't worry though, it's not because of you, you're a kind girl, I'm just a serial killer with emotional problems. Thanks for calling; you probably shouldn't contact me again."_ Is what I wanted to say, but you know, she might call the police or the psyche ward and have me strapped to a gurney and pumped full of sedatives before the end of the night.

And although saying no looks like a good option, I don't know if I can be alone with my thoughts tonight. I want to hold off killing as long as I can, if only for the good of my conscience. So I'll say yes. I'll go and I'll meet her for dinner and I'll just hope that she can take me away from my thoughts for a few hours.

'I'm actually just getting dressed right now, so why don't you go ahead and text me that address?'

…..

'Do you frequent the Olive Garden?' I asked as we pulled into the parking lot. It was one of the few things I said to her on the drive to the restaurant.

'No but my friend's boyfriend claims they "got decent shit" at the Olive Garden.' She laughed and used air quotes for emphasis. We entered the restaurant and were seated quite quickly for it being New Years day. Once our waiter poured us some water and left the two of us sat in awkward silence.

'I'm sorry I'm not a good conversationalist. I don't do one on one things very often. I mean, I've had sex just twice in my life and only one of them involved a date prior to the sex.' I blurted out without realizing. Her eyebrows shot up in amusement and I'm pretty sure I feel my cheeks redden. Very rarely do I say stupid things in front of people, I grew out of that stage in college, or at least I thought I did. And I don't know why I cared so much about what she thought anyway, we hardly knew each other.

'Uh…'She smiled at me.

'Not that I was insinuating that this was a date…or that we would be having sex. Sorry.' I apologized.

'Does it feel too much like a date to you?' She asked. 'Is it freaking you out?'

'It's not freaking me out.' I assured her.

'Good. So order whatever you want, you rescued me from the freezing cold, I'll rescue you from…hunger pains?' She offered, looking through the menu. It was a terrible joke but I couldn't help but laugh. She looked up at me, probably surprised that the sound came from me. It wasn't as if I was ever playful around her. It was probably the first time she had heard me laugh.

'You found that funny?' She asked. I shrugged. 'Well I'm glad you did. I was worried that I was going to be painfully awkward the entire night. I don't do the date thing very much either, I can't say that I've only had sex twice but the date thing…' She trailed off.

Bo was becoming easier to talk to as the night went on. We didn't delve into anything too personal, I didn't have many things that were personal that I could share without making her think I was strange. She didn't offer up too much either whether out of respect for me or just because she recognized that we were still strangers to each other…at least somewhat. Occasionally, when the conversation would stop, my mind would wander. I found myself looking around at the many patrons of the restaurant, noticing several of them that I could easily take home tonight and-

'I have to say, Olive Garden is okay but I can make a better red pepper pesto sauce at home.' She scrunched her face and let her fork clang against the plate.

'Are you saying that you are a better cook than the fine staff at this establishment?' I joked.

'My father and his side of the family are Italian; I can make better pasta sauce with my eyes closed.' She replied.

'Really?'

'Yeah.'

'I don't believe you.' I challenged. She looked amused. ' " Bo Dennis" doesn't sound very Italian to me.'

She smiled for a moment before she replied. 'I changed my name after I ran away from home when I was eighteen. I was in a bad place with my parents and I wanted nothing to do with them. My name was _**Isabeau Milani,**_ and even though my name has changed, my cooking could still rock your world.' She was playfully sassy.

'I'm afraid I don't know you well enough to go on word alone.' I replied.

'Well, the next time I head through Washington I'll just have to make another stop in Tacoma, hopefully not in an upturned vehicle, and drop you off some proof.' She beamed. And I don't know why, but I was nodding my head.

'Fair warning, I am a bit of a pasta connoisseur.' Among other things….

And I thought, that just for a moment, if an outsider took a picture of this, of me sitting across from a beautiful woman enjoying a meal, laughing and just relishing in each others company…they would think I was normal. They would think I was just like them. And maybe it's because I've nearly perfected my "mask of sanity" or maybe it's because I thoroughly enjoyed what took place here tonight. Either way, just for a second, this _**thing**_ inside that controls me…consumes me…let's me have a moment of peace.

…..

**That's it for that installment. Any and all mistakes are mine, don't forget to leave a review if you have the time or energy…I know I'm drained. Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Sorry it's been a while. A lot of stuff got in the way of my writing and I've been really sick. It's quite hard to concentrate on writing when your nose is a faucet and your throat feels like you've been fronting a screamo band for six years. **

***I own nothing.**

…**.**

**Flashback- **_**St. Louis, Missouri 2002**_

…_**.**_

_Lauren had been seeing Dr. Everett twice a month for five years now and had pretty much figured the woman to be full of hot air. In five years all the doctor had managed to do was medicate and annoy the blonde. Lauren had quickly figured out that Cassandra Everett was not trained to deal with someone who had Lauren's affliction. But with all the money her parents were sinking into her treatment, why would Dr. Everett admit that she didn't really know what would help Lauren? _

_Thankfully, today's appointment was her last one. She was fifteen, and had become aware that nobody would accept her for who she truly was, and that if she were to have any sort of life at all, she would need to pretend. She would need to create a mask for herself._

_A mask of sanity._

_Dr. Everett had thought she had cured Lauren, it was evident by the look on her face when she saw her that morning. She looked proud of her work, and no doubt, Lauren would end up being one of Cassandra's success stories in her future books. Lauren sat patiently in the chair and waited for her doctor to speak. The doctor leaned against her desk, smirking at Lauren. _

'_So, Lauren…' She began as she moved to sit behind her desk. 'It has been an eventful five years, hasn't it?' _

'_Mm.' Lauren hummed. _

'_And I think we've learned a lot from each other haven't we?' The doctor asked._

'_Yes.' Lauren replied. Cassandra nodded. _

'_You've been taking your medication?' She nodded, the look on her face told Lauren that anything but a "yes" answer would quickly cause problems. _

'_Religiously.' Lauren replied. She was very aware that the Ritalin did nothing for her dangerous thoughts and really only made her more efficient at doing her schoolwork, and left her agitated and anxious. After a year or so, Lauren had resorted to tucking the medication between her cheek and upper gum before stashing the unused dose in a hole in her mattress. _

'_That's what I want to hear.' She smiled tightly. 'Can I confess something to you Lauren?'_

'_Mm.'_

'_I think you're a time bomb.' She replied. Lauren shifted uncomfortably in her chair._

'_What do you mean?' _

'_Do you like action movies, Lauren?' She asked. _

'_Let's say I do for the sake of your argument.' The blonde responded._

'_You know those, intense parts of those cheesy action movies, where the hero is faced with a time bomb and there are three wires? Blue, Green and Red…usually?' Cassandra explained. _

'_Uh-huh.'_

'_Well usually, one wire speeds up the time and sets off the bomb, another wire will stop the bomb and the other wire will stop the bomb temporarily…making the hero think he has prevented the destruction when in fact he hasn't...' _

'_Are you picturing yourself as the hero?'_

_The older woman's mouth twitched._

'_Mm. But, I'm just wondering, which one of your wires did I cut?'_

…_._

**Bo's P.O.V**

She was sweet, if not a bit awkward at times and she was different from the last time I saw her. At least a little bit. She had seemed a little distracted, just like last time but this time she had more…life to her. Lauren had a welcoming laugh, when she wanted to use it, and her smile was inviting. I thought our dinner went well. But as soon as it was over, and we began driving toward my destination, everything was silent between us.

'So what's it like, you know…paramedic work?' I asked. It was a desperate attempt to end the lack of verbal communication between us. She looked out of the corner of her eye at me before she said anything. I was looking at her. I wasn't just staring off into space, pretending to be interested when I actually wasn't. And I think that's what she was looking for, to see if I was truly listening.

'Well it's tiring, but it's rewarding too.' She offered. 'I was going to be a doctor but…'

'What happened?'

She turned and gave me a small smile before answering. 'My life just didn't turn out the way I thought it would.'

'Whose life does?' I agreed.

'Right. What else can you do but work with what's given to you?' She nodded. After a beat, she asked me: 'Did your life turn out the way you thought it would?'

'Yes and no.' I wondered if I should have said that. Truthfully, I made sure my life didn't turn out how I thought it would and it cost me my parents, parents who were supposed to love me unconditionally, but what does that even mean anymore? I wonder if Lauren would ask me what I meant by what I said. We hardly knew each other, and I knew I wasn't ready to reveal _**that**_ part of my life to her.

'Oh.' She sounded polite and surprised. But she didn't push me any further.

'Thanks.' I let it slip out before I had a chance to catch myself. We were at a red light and she looked at me.

'For what?' She asked me.

'For not pushing for a better answer.' I said.

'It was good enough for me.'

…

**Lauren's P.O.V**

As I walk Bo to the front doors of her friend's apartment building, I wonder if my parents would be proud of me in this moment. I'm almost tempted to shout to the night sky: "Look, Ma! I'm out at night with a real live girl! And this one isn't about to become my personal carving project! Look!" Yes, I'm sure she would be so proud of me in this moment. She would be happy, watching me play well with others, especially since Bo came very close to ending up in place of Hannah James in my deep freezer, nestled comfortably in the woods behind my home.

'So I'm going to warn you before I come down next time.' She said as we stood underneath a streetlamp a few feet from her friend's apartment. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the curtain open on the first floor, and a young woman's head peek out, no doubt her friend.

'Why's that?' I asked.

'To make sure you have an empty stomach before I fill it with the best home cooking you've ever tasted.' She replied.

'You are building yourself up quite a bit, Bo. I certainly hope you can deliver.'

'Are you kidding me? My food is like an orgasm in your mouth-,' she explained with almost child-like excitement. I can't stop myself from grinning.

'When will you be back?' I ask. I hope I don't sound too eager, because that would freak her out. But I wanted to know. I _**really**_ did. I hadn't had this much fun someone in a very long time. She looked at me and I think she was pleased that I even asked the question.

'Next month, I hope. I mean, that's when I was planning on visiting Kenzi again. I'm not exactly sure what date but…' She bit her lip.

'Oh, good.' I said. I look up and her friend is eyeing us both. 'Maybe you should get inside, I'm sure your friend is worried about you.'

She looked up and chuckled before waving the girl away. 'Sorry about that. I think she's checking to make sure you're not some creep who will try and kill me.'

**Don't. Laugh.**

'She has a wild imagination.' I said.

'That's what I keep telling her. But, I probably should head upstairs now. I'm sure she'll be wanting to hear all about what happened. So, goodnight.' She held out her hand and I shook it.

'Goodnight, Bo.' I nodded and turned back down the path, heading for my truck.

…

**Flashback**_**- Ozark, Missouri 2002**_

…

_Very few things made Lauren's heart race, but waking up at ten o'clock at night, with her hands and feet bound together certainly did the trick. She knew she was still on her bed, where she had fallen asleep earlier after a fight with her mother about spending so much time in the woods. She couldn't see, nor could she speak. It had to be duct tape around her mouth, but it certainly wasn't a polite little strip, no, she felt it wrap around her skull, probably more than once too because it felt thick. _

_The next thought she had in her head was about her mother. Where was she? Was she okay? Did she know that Lauren was tied up in her bedroom? _

_With all of the effort she had, Lauren rolled herself off of her bed and slammed into the floor with a groan. She tried desperately to release herself from her bindings, hoping that whoever did this was incompetent enough to tie her hands and feet together, as opposed to tying them separately before joining them. Unfortunately the latter was true. _

_She froze when she heard heavy footsteps against the hardwood floors of her hallway. It was a fear like she had ever known, though she might not have worried so much if she had any hope of it being her father or brother, but she didn't, because they had left for a weekend long camping trip yesterday morning and wouldn't be back until Sunday night. _

_She couldn't see, speak or move. All she could do was listen and wait for whatever would happen next. The door swung open and Lauren jumped. The footsteps moved slowly toward her and Lauren brought her knees to her chest, attempting to distance herself from whomever it was that was coming for her. _

'_It's about time, little lady. We been waitin' on you.' The voice was male and was thick with southern Missouri dialect. One that reminded her of her grandfather, whose bottom lip always bulged with chewing tobacco or sunflower seeds and pronounced Missouri as Missour-__**ah**__. _

_She felt a hand wrap around her upper arm and yank her to her feet. She didn't know how he expected her to walk, but that question was quickly answered when he threw her over his shoulder and proceeded to exit her room. Lauren struggled and tried many times to knee her captor in his chest but she couldn't get enough momentum in the position that she was in. _

'_You wanna hold still, before I make things a helluvah lot worse for you.' He warned. He travelled a little further down the hall and opened a door. As soon as they were inside, Lauren could hear the sounds of her mother trying to scream through duct tape. The man sat Lauren down before ripping her blindfold off. The florescent light stung her eyes for a moment before she took in her surroundings. They were in the bathroom. The man was dressed head to toe in black, but he also had garbage bags over his clothes. He was about 5'8", medium build with a simple hospital mask covering his face. He stared at Lauren, his eyes a gentle blue but they burned a hole into Lauren's soul. Those eyes were familiar. She knew them from somewhere. He lifted a finger and pointed toward the tub, across from where Lauren was sitting. _

_There was her mother. Alice Lewis._

_Her hair was dishevelled and some strands were sweaty and stuck to her forehead. She was naked and had her hands and feet tied, similar to Lauren's. Fat tears rolled from her eyes. She was terrified. Never in her life had Lauren seen her mother truly scared. It was a first for both of them because Lauren had never really __**felt**__ terrified until this very moment. Because they knew this man was the Mutilator. Christian County's very own. _

'_I don't usually do this sort of thing. Letting you be with your momma while this happened wasn't the plan. But I thought, since this'll be my last kill, I should make it real special. Hope y'all are thankful.' He mumbled from beneath his mask._

_He moved forward and tied a rope around Lauren's already bound hands and feet, before securing the rope around a thick pipe beside the toilet. He moved over to Alice and yanked the tape away from her lips, tearing some skin off of them. 'You scream, and I'll make sure she's next.' He warned. _

'_Lauren…honey, e-everything is going to be okay. I-I promise sweetheart.' Alice tried but it did not sound the least bit convincing. Lauren nodded her head, if only for her mother's sake. Her mother wanted to say something else but the Mutilator was already in the process of taping her mouth once again. _

_Lauren was sure that this was a nightmare. She would wake up any moment now, safely in her bed, with her mother on the couch downstairs watching Dateline. But, no matter how many times she blinked, or shook her head, she wasn't able to wake herself up._

_Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him digging through a duffle bag before pulling out a few knives and a meat cleaver. He sat each blade on the edge of the tub before he leaned forward and switched on the tap for the cold water. He let the tub fill a few inches before shutting the water off and leaning against the wall. _

_It happened so quickly. He picked up one of the knives and shoved it right through her mother's abdomen, just beneath her ribcage. The action had Lauren lunging after her mother but the rope was so taut that Lauren had barely managed to move at all. The man spared her a glance before hoping into the tub and yanking the blade out before plunging it into her shoulder…and then into her leg…and then into her ribs. _

_Both Lauren and her mother were screeching behind their taped mouths. Lauren could already feel her throat becoming raw as the Mutilator created various stab wounds all over her mother's body. She knew that her mother would bleed out soon, but he was stabbing her so quickly that even if she were fading she would still feel every puncture to her body. He stabbed her once more, just above her heart, before tossing the knife out of the tub. He reached for the meat cleaver and raised it above his head before letting the heavy blade come crashing down against her mother's face. Lauren twisted violently against her bindings, she could feel the burning sensation shoot up her arm but she couldn't bring herself to care. She wanted to scream that her mother was dead, he didn't need to do anymore to her, but she knew that he still needed to do one more thing. He rested the meat cleaver on the side of the tub before reaching for the smaller knife. _

_Lauren wouldn't watch and twisted her head away. She wasn't aware of how long she kept her head turned but she knew that when she finally let her head drop, she had a stiff neck. There was movement in the tub and Lauren knew that he was finished. He stood in front of her, blood and bathwater pooling at his feet. His fingers gripped Lauren's hair and yanked her head up to look at the scene before her. _

_She only looked at it for a few moments, taking in all of the red that now stained the powder blue tiles. As soon as she caught a glimpse of her mother's face, her eyes rolled back in her head and everything went black._

….

**Lauren's P.O.V**

It had been fifteen days since my dinner with Bo, fourteen days since I buried Hannah James, twelve days since the media had thrown up a half assed missing persons report for her and I was probably two seconds away from losing my mind.

I had done my best to restrain myself from killing for as long as possible, and I know that trying to protect my flimsy moral code has done me no good and in fact has probably made things a whole lot worse. I don't even feel like myself. Like right now, Tamsin is talking to me. She's talking about some terrible reality television show I couldn't give any less of a fuck about, it's something she always does because she tends to talk out of her ass when she multitasks, and all I can think about is stabbing her in the throat with that plastic fork she's using. That's how I know I've gotten worse, because at most I get mildly annoyed with Tamsin, but I would never think about hurting her.

'If there was like a lesbian version of The Bachelorette, I would totally make sure you got on it.' She mumbled. I stood abruptly, if I didn't get away from her; I might say something that I'll regret later on. Something that _**I**_ wouldn't say.

'Where are you going?' She asked when I was close to the lunchroom exit.

'I'm not feeling well. I'm just going to get some air, alright?' I said, hoping that was good enough for her.

'Are you alright? Do you want me to come with you?' She asked me, prepared to pack up her unfinished lunch and follow me out.

'No!' I replied. Maybe it was a little louder than I should have, since she was now giving me a funny look. 'I just mean that, I want to be by myself for a little while, okay?'

'Yeah, alright.' She nodded and went back to her lunch.

I made my way out to the virtually empty parking lot, and head straight for my truck. I fumble with my keys for a moment before I'm finally granted access to my vehicle. I was just about to shut the door when Crystal caught the door handle.

'Lauren, what's going on?' She asked. I'm tempted to slam the door on her fingers and tell her that this is none of her business, but instead I just ended up saying:

'Stress.' Which isn't a total lie, but it's kind of a lame excuse because stress is ninety percent of our job. If you couldn't handle stress, why would anybody become a first responder?

'Really? Is it really getting that bad for you?' She asked, leaning on the door of my truck.

'Yeah,' I lied.

'You should talk to Chief O'Donnell about getting the rest of the day off or something. You haven't looked well the past few days either. Have you been eating? Are you hungry?' She asked.

'No, I'm fine Crystal. Thank you. I just think that I need to…rest or something.' I replied. She nodded and stepped back from my car door.

'Talk to the chief about getting a day or two off, Lauren.' She ordered. And I would, because I knew exactly what I needed.

…...

**I'll end it here for now. Next chapter we'll get to see Lauren "go hunting" so to speak. **

**Thanks for continuing to read my work; I really appreciate all of you taking time out of your day to read my fan fiction. **


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